Do you have a tendency of going on many dates at once? Do
you demand frequent reassurance from your spouse? Do you constantly micromanage
your partner, demanding to know where he or she is and what they are up to? Do
you have a paranoid personality? Do you have trouble making commitments? Do you
avoid new relationships out of fear of being rejected? If you answered yes to
the bulk of these questions, you may be suffering from abandonment issues.
1. It is more
difficult to split up when you share a home.
Moving in with your relationship is usually chosen because
you and your partner are both safe and comfortable in each other's judgments
and space. But did you know that living together might have a number of
consequences?
While moving together increases the chance of staying
together, it does not increase the degree of dedication you feel for each
other. Taking on new responsibilities may put further strain on the
relationship. As your finances get more connected, it may become more difficult
to disentangle them. Then there's the second issue: if you and your partner
decide to end your relationship, it won't be easy because you're living
together, and it could be tough.
2. Living together
can be detrimental to communication.
According to research, living together often generates more
stress than dating or marrying. When a couple lives together, they are caught
in the middle: they experience the same relationship worries that a dating
couple would encounter (such as time, friends, jealousy, and commitment), but
they also face the same problems that married couples face (such as bills,
in-laws, children, etc). If you want the intercast
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Living with your spouse may have a negative influence on how
you respond to seeming bigger marital issues than when you were not living
together. Because you're all living under the same roof, you could opt to keep
your complaints to yourself and bring them up later. When these concerns
accumulate, they add to the tension and disruption in the relationship and may
rise to the surface during an argument. These conditions do occur on occasion.
3. Living together
promotes a break-up mentality.
"What if it doesn't all work out?" That kind of
mindset shouldn't exist in the first place when you're thinking about living
together, but it does. It makes it more difficult to truly commit later on
since the "what ifs" become habitual.
When deciding to live together, learn to let go of the
"what ifs" - and maybe even address them with your spouse - and
commit to making the relationship work. Being committed to a collaboration
implies learning from shared experiences rather than smothering them.
4. Living together
influences compatibility.
Moving in with your spouse means that you consider him or
her to be your life partner, but it is not a technique of establishing
compatibility. You must be aware that you are already compatible and that you
are more than ready to face the world together.
If you're considering marrying your spouse, try doing things
together to get a sense of what it's like to solve difficulties together, and
then see how you both fare. Take a short vacation together, try a new hobby
together, and occasionally do some babysitting together.
5. Having Trouble
Feeling Love
People who are terrified of abandonment struggle to
experience affection. They have trouble recognising and expressing their
emotions. They may appear to be distant from their experiences and
relationships. Physical and emotional comfort from their spouses, such as a hug
or a compliment, may be rejected by abandoned persons. They typically hide
their genuine selves, making connection difficult. For example, rather than
admitting that you want more physical affection from your partner, you adopt
defence mechanisms such as behaving as if you don't care, even when you do. You are in command.
6. Negative Fundamental Beliefs
When presented with a circumstance, those who have
experienced abandonment fantasise about the worst-case scenario. They become
entrapped in negative mental patterns. When a friend is late, you assume the
friendship is over. When you feel judgement, you tell yourself, "I am an
idiot." "I am frequently wrong." When you have a disagreement
with a relative, you instinctively assume that person despises you.
These negative schemas develop automatically as a result of
trauma. Another sort of abandonment attitude is "people always
leave." I don't require anyone's help. Nobody can be trusted. I am reviled
and disliked. I need to earn people's affection. I'm not going to be able to
function without that person. It's always my fault for everything.
"Everything goes wrong." "I am unworthy."
Conclusion
Abandonment is a situation in which people are terrified of
falling in love with the wrong person again, therefore it is my sincere advise
that you assist your subconscious mind understand that there are many different
types of people in this world, and each person is unique.
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